East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
