please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
