it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
