Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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