if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
