you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
