that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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