ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
