When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't turn off my feet"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
