do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
