Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
