You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
