My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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