i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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