Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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