let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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