this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
