I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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