I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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