I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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