I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
