I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
