What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
