I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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