I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
420 ftw
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
