Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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