This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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