So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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