I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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