You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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