She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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