As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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