Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
