hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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