haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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