How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
