: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
