Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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