It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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