ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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