You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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