I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
