Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
