She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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