so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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