We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize