Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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