when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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