Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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