saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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