tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize