I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
