I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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