We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
