What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
