Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
