You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
