Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
