Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
