Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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